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Supporting a friend

Listening Without Trying to Fix Everything

Launch library · evergreen read

Photo: Sunrise - Hope of Faith by Pahiyom08 (CC BY-SA 4.0), via Openverse

When someone we love is struggling, the instinct to fix things can be overwhelming. We want to offer a solution, a plan, a way out of the pain as quickly as possible. Often, though, what a person needs first is simply to be heard without being redirected toward an answer.

Listening without fixing means resisting the urge to fill every silence with advice. It means letting someone finish a sentence even when it is uncomfortable, and asking gentle follow up questions instead of jumping to conclusions. This kind of attention tells a person that their experience matters exactly as it is.

If what you hear feels bigger than you can hold alone, that is a sign to bring in extra support, not a sign you have failed. Beyond Blue can be reached on 1300 22 4636 for information and support, and Lifeline is available around the clock on 13 11 14.

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